if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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