you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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