Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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