No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
