I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize