Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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