Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Barsexuality is the new black.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
