I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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