R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
