You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
