I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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