it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize