Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
