Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
