I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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