dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
