I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
