Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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