Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
