just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
