Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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