..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
