oh god was she eating orange peels again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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