So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
