Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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