We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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