the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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