Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
