He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
