Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
They are going to name an STD after you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
