Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
