..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize