Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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