Whatcha textin bout Willis?
barbara walters just said penis...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize