How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
