it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
