hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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