He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
