What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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