the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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