May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
