Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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