when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
