I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
