is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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