super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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