I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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