I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
