Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
