Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
