WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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