Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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