It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize