Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
