That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just invented taco cereal.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize