last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
