Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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(317): View more from Indiana

There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??

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(207): View more from Maine

it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend

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(661): View more from California

this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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(740): View more from Ohio

new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

(419): View more from Ohio

you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas

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(863): View more from Florida

not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.

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