His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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