i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Randomize
