I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
