dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
jump out the window naked night went bad
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
