A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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