I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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