look no pants
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
