sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
then he tried to convert me to islam
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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