if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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