I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
